Thursday, May 21, 2015

OfayCupid.




“Oh, why go on?” said the traveler, after arriving in a dry county: “it’s pint-less.” Outside, actors and actresses reenacted the Gunfight at the Ofay Corral. Afterwards, they cruised each other at OfayCupid. All this online dating necessitates the return of the dative case; it’s all so indirect. I put down one summer read for another summer read, A Passage to Indianapolis for The Unbearable Lightness of Bee Sting. I put down The Unbearable Lightness of Bee Sting for Topic of Capricorny. Do you put down books? It’s very insulting. Samuel Butler may know The Way of All Flesh whereas most toilets know the way of all flush. At the very end of the flush resides a ferocious reptile—a Commode O’dragon. His dream dessert? A slice of pie a la commode. Did a state of despair—pointlessness—facilitate the development of a painting technique: pointillism? By acknowledging all the pints, indeed, one can contemplate The Big Tincture.

Thursday, May 14, 2015

ARE YOU OVERLY INVOLVED IN THE LIVES OF EVERYDAY ANIMALS? TAKE THIS FREE SURVEY.




Scrutinize the photograph above. What do you see?
(1) An everyday helpmeet sentenced to serve hard time in a head prison
(2) An everyday helpmeet riding mass transit in a fashion head prison
(3) An everyday helpmeet
(4) An everyday helpmeet in an everyday helmet on the way to hell-mist or hazmat

Choose the best deconstruction of the phrase “Mr. Edipus Wreaks Haddock”:
(1) Mr. Ed
(2) Oedipus Rex
(3) Wreaks havoc
(4) A talking horse that has longings for his mother and goes wild like a popular food fish

When you encounter the term “house amber” what does it mean to you?
(1) In every family house lives a woman named Amber
(2) In every publick house toils a woman named Amber
(3) Michelob Amber Bock
(4) A night of debauchery that will surely conclude itself in rooms going all whirlybird

Characterize the everyday animals that are most likely to jump out of the curtains:
(1) Burrowing sycophant creatures
(2) Back door beasts
(3) Raptors with glass hearts
(4) Reptiles out on work release

Which of the following categories best describes you?
(1) I have been the best man at a divorce
(2) I have been the maid of honor at a divorce
(3) I caught the garter at a divorce
(4) I caught the bouquet at a divorce




In regards to the picture above, have you recently been the victim of:
(1) Status electricity
(2) Status electricity and the peckings of cage-free Huns
(3) Status electricity and marital law as supervised by martial bliss
(4) Status electricity and the smart-phone poet, Anne Sexting

How many times have you been attacked—in the past month—by an everyday animal?
(1) Zero to 2 times
(2) 3 to 10 times
(3) 11 to 28 times
(4) 29 or more times (i.e., every day of the month!)

The time has come to calculate your point total. Scoring key: For every (1) you selected, you receive one point. For every (2) you selected, you receive two points. For every (3) you selected, you receive three points. For every (4) you selected, you receive four points. Below, you may correlate your point total with your level of involvement in the lives of everyday animals.

Point Total
7 to 11: You are minimally involved in the lives of everyday animals.
12 to 17: You are somewhat involved in the lives of everyday animals.
18 to 23: You are involved in the lives of everyday animals.
24 to 28: You are overly involved in the lives of everyday animals.

Thank you for taking the survey! We hope this survey has changed your life. Surveys can be a great source of Vitamin See. Hoy hoy.

Thursday, April 30, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE BLOGGER BENEATH A RAMBUNCTIOUS CEILING FAN.

video


In order for machines to perform, they must lack mechanical defects, whereas humans inherit an electrical charge.

The MM-DD-Year format for dates marginalizes months and days.

Start with differential geometry but prepare yourself for ambient chaos.

What towers above the cloud—nothing towers above the cloud—what towers above the cloud?

Fragments can be viewed as the soil, rocks, grit that fasten the scenery in place yet fragments can be viewed as “the world of art forms we now reject.”

Due to a shortage in replica flour, “animal crackers” must engage in cutbacks: the new snack will be known as “minimal crackers.”

A major financial services company will offer services that cater to the expanding kinks of its customer base. Accordingly, it will change its name to S & M & T Bank.

“Stay down”, one advises the boxer, “stay down.”

No. 1 Rule in the Tea Party Handbook for Partisans: “Be vigilant of The Left & their side-salads & their bluebonnets & their scandalized expressions.”

Oh, the faithful slew a she-mutton & scrubbed themselves in ritual pumice-apricot.

A belief that the world is more than 50% bad but that people are more than 50% good.

The world is an equinox; people are an equinox; the horses leap through fire-rings.

Everything an experiment where “everything” = just shy of everything and “experiment” = a poverty of flickering wind.

You hurry to have sex, you hurry during sex, you have twenty three and three-quarter hours to inhabit.


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #29: Interview with the Shopper Who Purchased the Last Pair of Thermal Underwear
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #1: Interview with a Couple in Missionary Position

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE SHOPPER WHO PURCHASED THE LAST PAIR OF THERMAL UNDERWEAR.



The sun a dead clock flashlight-grey
& fastened to the western reach
by the darkening chandeliers of ice-water clouds
I think of a woman in a summer dress
at an art museum (the ethnicity in her smile
at least four European capitals
Glasgow, Berlin, Sarajevo, Warsaw)
she at the Cezanne
she at the Cezanne
& has since stepped out of the summer dress
stepped into a different neighborhood
in a different city imagine the vocabulary
that might synthesize my cold animal remorse
& here are the words:

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A DEMOCRAT WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVE TO VOTE FOR KENNEDY.



Hey, I went to electoral college & know that JFK
polled well w/ voting stiffs. So I arose.
What day was it? It was Election Day.
Very sepulchral in panorama ehhh
even at the voting booth. After I pulled the lever
(for Kennedy) me & the other cadavers
went for a brewski. We were dead drunk.
Kidded about how we'd arise into our
other lives tomorrow -- having voted twice.
Judging by the margarine of victory
I wonder whatever happened to the GOP corpses?
The Republican dead die more permanently
or so it would seem. They don't take an interest
in civics. An interest in government. . .


posted mobile from California

for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #27: Interview with a Coltrane Hologram Playing the Theme...
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #29: Interview with the Shopper Who Purchased the Last Pair of Thermal Underwear


Monday, April 27, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A COLTRANE HOLOGRAM PLAYING THE THEME (AND BEYOND THE THEME) FROM "INDIA."



hurRAH hurRAH
hurRAH hurRAH
hymn hymn hymn
hurRAH

awe-RAH awe-RAH
awe-RAH awe-RAH
hymn hymn hymn
awe-RAH

hurRAH hurRAH
hurRAH hurRAH
hymn hymn hymn
hurRAH

scree-RAH esprit awe-SCREE
esprit AWE scree rah HYMN


(posted mobile from California)



Sunday, April 26, 2015