Thursday, April 30, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE BLOGGER BENEATH A RAMBUNCTIOUS CEILING FAN.

video


In order for machines to perform, they must lack mechanical defects, whereas humans inherit an electrical charge.

The MM-DD-Year format for dates marginalizes months and days.

Start with differential geometry but prepare yourself for ambient chaos.

What towers above the cloud—nothing towers above the cloud—what towers above the cloud?

Fragments can be viewed as the soil, rocks, grit that fasten the scenery in place yet fragments can be viewed as “the world of art forms we now reject.”

Due to a shortage in replica flour, “animal crackers” must engage in cutbacks: the new snack will be known as “minimal crackers.”

A major financial services company will offer services that cater to the expanding kinks of its customer base. Accordingly, it will change its name to S & M & T Bank.

“Stay down”, one advises the boxer, “stay down.”

No. 1 Rule in the Tea Party Handbook for Partisans: “Be vigilant of The Left & their side-salads & their bluebonnets & their scandalized expressions.”

Oh, the faithful slew a she-mutton & scrubbed themselves in ritual pumice-apricot.

A belief that the world is more than 50% bad but that people are more than 50% good.

The world is an equinox; people are an equinox; the horses leap through fire-rings.

Everything an experiment where “everything” = just shy of everything and “experiment” = a poverty of flickering wind.

You hurry to have sex, you hurry during sex, you have twenty three and three-quarter hours to inhabit.


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #29: Interview with the Shopper Who Purchased the Last Pair of Thermal Underwear
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #1: Interview with a Couple in Missionary Position

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE SHOPPER WHO PURCHASED THE LAST PAIR OF THERMAL UNDERWEAR.



The sun a dead clock flashlight-grey
& fastened to the western reach
by the darkening chandeliers of ice-water clouds
I think of a woman in a summer dress
at an art museum (the ethnicity in her smile
at least four European capitals
Glasgow, Berlin, Sarajevo, Warsaw)
she at the Cezanne
she at the Cezanne
& has since stepped out of the summer dress
stepped into a different neighborhood
in a different city imagine the vocabulary
that might synthesize my cold animal remorse
& here are the words:

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A DEMOCRAT WHO ROSE FROM THE GRAVE TO VOTE FOR KENNEDY.



Hey, I went to electoral college & know that JFK
polled well w/ voting stiffs. So I arose.
What day was it? It was Election Day.
Very sepulchral in panorama ehhh
even at the voting booth. After I pulled the lever
(for Kennedy) me & the other cadavers
went for a brewski. We were dead drunk.
Kidded about how we'd arise into our
other lives tomorrow -- having voted twice.
Judging by the margarine of victory
I wonder whatever happened to the GOP corpses?
The Republican dead die more permanently
or so it would seem. They don't take an interest
in civics. An interest in government. . .


posted mobile from California

for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #27: Interview with a Coltrane Hologram Playing the Theme...
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #29: Interview with the Shopper Who Purchased the Last Pair of Thermal Underwear


Monday, April 27, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A COLTRANE HOLOGRAM PLAYING THE THEME (AND BEYOND THE THEME) FROM "INDIA."



hurRAH hurRAH
hurRAH hurRAH
hymn hymn hymn
hurRAH

awe-RAH awe-RAH
awe-RAH awe-RAH
hymn hymn hymn
awe-RAH

hurRAH hurRAH
hurRAH hurRAH
hymn hymn hymn
hurRAH

scree-RAH esprit awe-SCREE
esprit AWE scree rah HYMN


(posted mobile from California)



Sunday, April 26, 2015

Saturday, April 25, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A MICROMANAGER WHO MUST OVERSEE A LARGE PROJECT.



Someone exploded a jack-o-lantern
that’s the sorry sitch
in the break room right now
imagine the October sun
as a gap-tooth gourd & rotating
before the force of the detonation
spat the soggy crown
out the microwave’s door
(swinging like a gate)
onto the table beside the resource binders
I’m afraid the project is stalled
until the joker self-identifies &
yes, I can macromanage
I can macrowave, too. (Not funny.)


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #24: Interview with a Train Passenger Who Elects to Elevate His Hand...
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #26: Interview with an Electric Utility Executive in the Midst of a Rolling Blackout

Friday, April 24, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A TRAIN PASSENGER WHO ELECTS TO ELEVATE HIS HAND FOR THE DURATION OF THE RIDE.

video


To establish a system of perpetual greeting. (“Halloo.”)

To ready the self, in the event of, a request for, a series of high-fives.

To stretch and otherwise limber a percentage of sinew & gristle.

To challenge the blood, climbing like a warm vine, toward the fingers.

To assess the body’s capacity for persevering through numbing dearth.

To hail a taxicab from the speedy seat of another conveyance.

To audition for the position of question-asker emeritus.

To attract the attention of those whose foreheads lapse easily into wrinkles.

To offset years of conducting this maneuver with the other hand.

To practice the fond embrace of a taller chum on the shoulder of a seat.

To perform a sedentary, one arm, no leg, no torso, nothing further, jumping jack.

To raise awareness of people who forget the purposes of their gestures.

To salute the landscape as it vanishes according to established principles.

To receive the world & be received. To be human in silhouette.


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet # 23: Interview with H&R Cock Block
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #25: Interview with a Micromanager Who Must Oversee a Large Project

Thursday, April 23, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH H&R COCK BLOCK.




We prevent
the rooster
from being
the rooster

We say
the cock
or we
say cockerel

Either way
we stymie
rooster activity
you know:

we block
a-doodle doo

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A DEPARTMENT STORE PHOTOGRAPHER WHO HAS ORDERED SUBJECTS TO SAY RELISH BEFORE THE SHUTTER SNAPS.




I’ve thought of saying “say mustard”
but I think of gods swallowing their children
I’ve said “say relish” & they say “relish”
as if they’re stirring paint or “relish” as if
they’ve stepped into debris & as for saying
“say catsup” you get froggy mouths
I realize it’s a big world (of foodstuffs)
but I’m a very old school shutterbug—
I’m not going to say “say wasabi” or
“say tahini” or “say mixed berry spreadable”
imagine me saying “say gluten free” before
the shutter snaps, oh, to hell w/ cheese—
which condiment will break the frown?


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #21: Interview with a Drama Queen at Dairy Queen
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #23: Interview with H&R Cock Block


Tuesday, April 21, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A DRAMA QUEEN AT DAIRY QUEEN.




My name’s Michelle E-chelle & I’m here to say
you gotta do things the E-chelle way! Girl,
he texted me “U @ DQ” & I’m like “obvi” but
it autocorrected to “oboe Viagra.” Scume?
Don’t be shortin’ the line! I know you ain’t orderin’
the last dilly bar! My name’s Michelle E-chelle &
I’m here to say: Girl! He texted me “8 @ BK”
do I care? I’m like “whatevs” but it autocorrected to
“whopper butt” cause I enter whopper butt daily.
Hourly! His butt’s so big he got an East Cheek &
a West Cheek. There goes my “humph” ringtone,
da boo boo! I think he loves IHOP more than me.
Scume? Can I get a dilly bar & a parfait?
Hey girl: you gotta do things the E-chelle way!


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #20: Interview with a Drama King at Burger King
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #22: Interview with a Department Store Photographer...



Monday, April 20, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A DRAMA KING AT BURGER KING.




Monday evening before winter
a bit of salt in the clouds
it will be warmer
it will be warmer

lights brighten areas for a few walkers
what percentage the blood from metals?
every orphaned anemic hedge
every orphaned anemic hedge

attempts to remake paradise
what paradise but the emergence of opposites?
desolation may invite obtuse ideals
the way homely streets terminate

at the windowpanes of phantom addresses
a bit of salt in the clouds. . .


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #19: Interview in Bright Shade
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #21: Interview with a Drama Queen at Dairy Queen


Sunday, April 19, 2015

INTERVIEW IN BRIGHT SHADE.



A connoisseur of greys
I’ve identified many (fleet or
sturdy) purveyors of the hue, incl.:
marine layer, dirigible, swarm,
rock outcropping, terrazzo,
English football stands, awning at
wrong address, arrival beneath
crown, i.e., tree, crown &
ethnic headgear, walls in any
hemisphere until auto-kindle lamps
beat upon humid circular parks
& a sizzling sodium glow lathers
the hands a pink electric—
now that’s bathing in public.


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #18: Interview with a Failed Sloganeer
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #20: Interview with a Drama King at Burger King

Saturday, April 18, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A FAILED SLOGANEER.



So you got two Terries, ok?
one is more Terrie than the other
ok? she’s Terrier
where can we go with this?
Terrier cloths Terrier Garr?
Pterrier dactyl Terrier yockie?
a few Welshies jumping around
it could be Terrier Haute, Indiana
if you want more bark for your buck
wait a minute
wait a minute
Nat King
Nat King Cole
Nat King Cole Slaw!


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #17: Interview with the Public Servant Responsible for the Private Sector
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #19: Interview in Bright Shade


Friday, April 17, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE PUBLIC SERVANT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE PRIVATE SECTOR.




Assign a value of “1” to exurbanism
Assign a value of “2” to bourbonism
Assign a value of “3” to turbanism
Assign a value of “4” to orbitalism
Assign a value of “5” to disorganism
Assign a value of “6” to virginism
Assign a value of “7” to virgoism
Assign a value of “8” to ergoism
Assign a value of “9” to cogitoism
Assign a value of “10” to summonism
Assign a value of “11” to fefifofumism
Assign a value of “12” to hideyhideyhoism
You got something. Whattya got?
Assign a value of “13” to cataclysm!


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #16: Interview with a Member of the Jury One Year Later
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #18: Interview with a Failed Sloganeer



Thursday, April 16, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A MEMBER OF THE JURY ONE YEAR LATER.



In a cent
in a scent
in ascent
in assent

Inn oh cent
inn knows n’t
inn nose n’t
inn no saint

Inroads aunt
‘n hoe scant
minnow spent
winnow slant

But I voted
guile tee


Wednesday, April 15, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH AN OLD-TIMER OUTSIDE THE REC CENTER.




I scrapped with Sugar Ray over there in the corner—
we was teenagers then & the scrap was violent—
half an hour of trading painful headlocks
until a crowd of adults & kids encircled us—
darkness pounced on the trees in the park
but the 100 watt light-bulb hadn’t tired
it glowed above our sweat-soaked anger—
who can remember the beef? —a note to a pretty girl? —
it was a draw until Sugar Ray says, “I am Mr. Yuk!”—
I laughed at the image of the poisoned face &
Ray stole me so hard in the forehead
my eyes rolled around like immies—
I landed on the seat of my dungarees—
a few years later my man won the belt! welterweight!


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #14: Interview with a Pedestrian at a 4-Way Stop
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #15: Interview with a Member of the Jury One Year Later


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A PEDESTRIAN AT A 4-WAY STOP.




Arrived the same time
I wave him “proceed”
he honks &
he honks &
he honks until
I trudge across
all the while he revs
before squealing through.

What were the dynamics?
He, the driver &
the honker—
I, the pedestrian &
the recipient—
the honkee.


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #13: Interview with a Gravedigger beneath a One-Crow Tree
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #15: Interview with an Old-Timer outside the Rec Center


Monday, April 13, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A GRAVEDIGGER BENEATH A ONE-CROW TREE.




He ain’t very bird brain, what? I aimed
the barrel of my shovel at him: he could figure.
A shovel don’t fire no bullets. Up there
cackling ain’t the right word but tore the sky in half.
Racket like gulps of liquor lubricating a throaty laugh.
Aw! Aw! Aw! (Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.)
Then I got a sixty-watter over the noodle. I’d been
digging six feet down all day, so I dug a little grave, what?
I caught the crow’s eye. The crow caught mine.
Slowly, I led the crow’s vision to the little grave.
He could count: six inches deep, what?
Looking into his black mask I could understand
a thousand years of—the necessity of—mob action.
Then he was a whirly scarf banking away, quiet.


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #12: Interview with Gazongo the Exotic Clown
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #14: Interview with a Pedestrian at a 4-Way Stop


Sunday, April 12, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH GAZONGO THE EXOTIC CLOWN




Feh! Gazongo no give fleshy show yet after
cultural incident knock free nose from face.
Not after Cuisinart! Blender not funny when
you drop nose w/ ice cube & press slap chop.
I visit joke store & they offer bluebeard beard
but they no offer slap chop replacement nose!
They offer tinfoil thunderbolt! They offer cape
of Father Age to Gazongo but I am clown not
no hoodie freak who come with sickle & death!
I come w/ bonk bonk & endless handkerchief
& many ball jugglings in big booby suit like
shower curtain w/ fig leafs & nipple hat. Feh!
You want fleshy show of creamy creamy belly
so Gazongo give you three spits to sidewalk!


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #11: Interview with an Angry Customer in the Fitting Room
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #13: Interview with a Gravedigger beneath a One-Crow Tree


Saturday, April 11, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH AN ANGRY CUSTOMER IN THE FITTING ROOM.




If you’re talking to me thru slats
then I’m amid a fitting room or NO!
the world is a fitting room & I’m
the only warm mammal penned-in
you NUMB-ASS obstructionist
you’re good at causing stand-still
I bet you’re good at causing ROT
& DURABLE MALAISE! you sod
yes I’m irate I’m not only irate but
lacking snug garments & alternatives
these fabrics balloon like a melon
starved for water you TWIT-APPLE
recognize this: I’m a dresser &
I’m cross (DUH!) I’m a cross-dresser!


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #10: Interview with a Yes Man
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #12: Interview with Gazongo the Exotic Clown


Friday, April 10, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A YES MAN.




The earth weathers numerous isometrics of sexual rejection.

Who delivered this pulpy cantaloupe, or if you will, this melon of dubious fragrance?

Even the strongest radio channel flirts with the jagged frontiers of static; every exposure must penetrate the scrim.

The cold, quiet synapse-spaces that once conducted pain—as music—to the hemisphere.

Either the tree or the man might grow crookedly, the man rooted among the poverty of other crooked trunks.

A project dubbed “Move the Hillside” indeed moved the hillside to a secondary location dubbed “Secondary Hillside.”

The number of rusty vehicles the number of dormant vehicles the rusty dormant corner of town.

Light presides the percentage of light presiding the percent of impotent radiation.

Where ample sustenance coincides with the outcry for sustenance: reveal, to me, this arena.

Animals that would never contact one another—shrimp and bacon—assembled in the same sandwich, every day, in every city.

Oh, there are deer, but no woods; the deer idle at the outskirts.

A moment of astonishment before brute force, brutes applying tourniquets, et cetera, prevails.

Will the world evict us? Will you think about my hands?

The greater distinction hinges on saying Yes.


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #9: Interview with a Scientist Who Must Harvest an Unusual Source of Energy
for 2105 NaPoWriMo sonnet #11: Interview with an Angry Customer in the Fitting Room


Thursday, April 9, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE SCIENTIST WHO MUST HARVEST AN UNUSUAL SOURCE OF ENERGY.




Static endures like the stranded Cosmonaut . . .
if only one could capture the electricity
from laundry & people—
sleeves hugging sleeves for weeks
trousers enjoined at belt & thigh
or the snap spark from a fingertip—
I have read accounts of men “speaking static”
w/ one another usually in advance of fisticuffs—
(to capture that!) & I begin to dwell on
walls! paint! has anyone
applied a stethoscope to a boulder?
what if we manufactured an oil sands sandpaper
& clattered it together one page per hand
like a toy monkey or cymbal crasher; what if?


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #8: Interview with the Team Captain after the Big Game
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #10: Interview with a Yes Man



Wednesday, April 8, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE TEAM CAPTAIN AFTER THE BIG GAME.



I know they had
guys asking God &
we had a lotta
guys asking God for
the win I doubt
our prayers mattered much
if God looked down
& saw us smash
them in the mouth
once more than they
smashed our mouths I’d
like to think he
smiled & pitied alike—
as the clock expired.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH FRENCH FRANC.




Je m’appele Franc, oui, I am frank w/ you
b/c mes amis my colleague have two friend
Franc from France & Franc from Switzerland
but I am pas Swissy NON! I am Frenchy kiss
all your girlfriend if you make fucky fuck w/
identify mistake—you want to, ehh, regardez
French Frankenstein, mon dieu, I will angry
comme une bĂȘte noire big buggabaloo-bear
who loiter in curtain or trapdoor prefecture
I am incense at fucky fuck I am franc-incense!
Vous ĂȘtes dildo battery after choppy-chop
all your francophoney baloney, messieurs
et madames I make further accomplishment
than you, ehh, I will be French Franc-further!


Monday, April 6, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE LEAD SOFTWARE DESIGNER FOR MICROSOFT EXODUS SIMULATOR.




User complaints guh-lore. First, it was Pharaoh.
“He’s too postmodern” etc. so we made him—her.
More than that: Cleopatra. Moses got a problem?
See Cleopatra. God needs to harden a heart: Cleo P.
(She’s so hot. Most of the Israelites prefer bondage
to freedom.) Other complaints: “Too Stone Age.”
“The manna sucks.” The plagues are borrr-ing.”
So we set the 2.0 Simulator where? In Newark, NJ.
You can select Chris Christie avatar if you prefer
a more realistic Pharaoh experience. There’s traffic.
(That’s a plague.) Guide the tribe to Port Authority
& receive bialy-drop. Our biblical series continues w/
failed politician simulator (Dude-O-Romney) &
high-priest urban swearing simulator: Leviticuss.


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #5: Interview with a Partygoer Who Imbibed Several Alabama Slammers 

for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #7: Interview with French Franc

Sunday, April 5, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A PARTYGOER WHO IMBIBED SEVERAL ALABAMA SLAMMERS.




I know I’ve drunk a lot to had b/c this gala
orig- origineered in What’s it, Mississippi.
Who you lookin’ at, tiger-bird? Did I swill one,
two, three, fourteen slammers? (I summered
in jail the year of nineteen ought to phone my
mama.) Hey! Did you drink one, two, three,
fourteen slammers? Well, then stuff your blow-
blowhole with pasties pastries—just merge!
You’re mean. TIGER BIRD! My name is orgy &
I love myself on Occidental terms. Ewww!
It smells like a box turtle farted-out a box turtle
onto underwear breath. (I’m slappiest if it grains
against the going, if that’d be a higher love.)
My head is looking for the gong that rang it.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A LEAST COASTER WHO DREAMS OF SOMEDAY LIVING NEAR THE SPECIFIC OCEAN.




My friends say “Yo!
Be Pacific!” when I’m acting vogue

I couldn’t be a micro-tanager
b/c I don’t like to damage birds

the diff b/w mixture & admixture
is kinda like the diff b/w venture & adventure

a bit much of the adage, really
a bit much of the edition

I’m fretting for love so would you
let me defenestrate my feelings

why do people say I’m tardy minutes late
when I show up half an hour oily?

as mama believed: you can’t afford the loon
if you can’t slap down the quadrilateral


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #3: Interview with a Presence beside the Ouija Board

for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #5: Interview with a Partygoer Who Imbibed Several Alabama Slammers

Friday, April 3, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A PRESENCE BESIDE THE OUIJA BOARD.




I am independent mists perhaps or
I am the mists of your imagination.
That said, we are speaking, which is
either (1) you speaking to mists or
(2) you addressing yourself (as mists).
I wish there were Google Ouija—
then we could store our soothsay
in the cloud; the cloud is a nimbus.
Forsoothsay! The cloud is an imbecile.
I am neither pessimists nor opposite
but as I’ve been flummoxed in place
repeat: The ring is in the oatmeal.
Whose ring? Whose oatmeal? Ah,
these are questions for other mists.


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #2: Interview with a G.O.P. Operative...
for 2105 NaPoWriMo sonnet #4: Interview with a Least Coaster...

Thursday, April 2, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH THE G.O.P. OPERATIVE ENGAGED TO EVALUATE THE BEST FEATURES OF THE ANTI-DUKAKIS CAMPAIGN AS PART OF THE ANTICIPATED EFFORT TO DEFEAT HILLARY CLINTON.




You say “Hillary”? I say: Helmet.
Imagine: we don’t even need a tank: we
gift-wrap one of those Kaiser Wilhelm dealies
w/ the pointy boner on top & post it
(first class) c/o Hillary for President.
It has GPS. She wears it to Whole Foods.
Our guy snaps the photo; cue the womp-womp.
She could attract the helmet vote but
polling has us comfy w/ likely helmet voters.
Strategy two? Photoshop Dukakis onto
the YouTube video of a bum crapping
the floor in 7-11 & a week later superimpose
Hillary crapping a Sheetz in Benghazi.
Clearly: a Big Gulp for any swing voter.


Wednesday, April 1, 2015

INTERVIEW WITH A COUPLE IN MISSIONARY POSITION.





Everyone else in the world--(Ah!)--had copied
wolves & collies, not to mention the voyeurism.
Through zipper of tent, through orifice of drywall.
As you can espy, we happen to be accoupled.
I brought a gift of seasalt chocolates, yes, caramels.
Seasalt caramels often lead to missionary position.
Other snacks--papaya spears, gluten free cookies,
trail mix--often lead to other positions. (Ah!)
I'm not saying which. You'd think that professionals
(Ah!) from the suite of professionals: cartography,
uh, hagiography, uh, biography: these folks accouple too.
Why no biography position? This seems very biographical.
The missionaries--(Ah!)--warned against autobiography:
it corrodes the old 20/20; autobiography blinds!


for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #2: Interview with the G.O.P. Operative...
for 2015 NaPoWriMo sonnet #30: Interview with the Blogger beneath a Rambunctious Ceiling Fan